Body image is a HUGE (excuse the pun) problem with women.  A recent Glamour Magazine survey found that 75% of women ages 18-35 believe they are fat.  Even though only 60 percent actually are overweight, they have a skewed body image.  The vast majority of women don’t see themselves as slender and attractive. 

According to the 2000 census, the female population of the United States is over 140 million.  This means over 84 million women in our country are overweight.  Nearly 40 million women are medically obese.  Women with similar weight issues is on the increase within the UK and more women are being classed obese each year.  If thin women feel lousy about themselves, you know how large women feel. They have even more serious body image issues.

Researchers who surveyed women about their sexual satisfaction found that the less attractive a woman felt, the less sexual desire and activity she experienced.  Since women who are overweight are conditioned by society’s pervasive “thin is beautiful” message, the combination of these statistics suggest that, at the very least, 40 million women, and quite possibly, 84 million women aren’t having the kind of love life they want to have, and it’s because of their poor body image.

In Overcoming Fear of Fat, Laura S. Brown and Esther D. Rothblum suggest that the link in our society’s mindset of fat with being out-of-control and with laziness and ugliness creates in a woman an “energy-draining self-hatred.”  It’s no wonder, then, that in a McCall’s Magazine phone poll, 40 percent of 350 participating women reported they were less interested in sex when they felt overweight.

In her article, “Factors in the Sexual Satisfaction of Obese Women in Relationships,” published in the January 15, 2002 issue of Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, Wilka Woodward Areton includes this quote offered by an overweight woman:  “…when I go up a few pounds, I can’t enjoy myself in bed.  I’m afraid to let my belly out.  I feel embarrassed to make any noise, and I’m less relaxed about being touched.”  This woman undoubtedly speaks for millions of women when she says that she feels too heavy to be attractive.  She goes on to confirm how her poor body image intrudes into intimate moments:  “I know in my heart I should be thinner….  Sometimes I get so wrapped up in thinking about it that I can’t really enjoy Rob touching or even wanting me.” 

The message that women must be thin in order to be attractive is what drives women to diet. Unfortunately, the dieting, even when successful, isn’t enough to change a woman’s body image enough to enjoy sexual satisfaction.  In a study of 60 obese women who dieted “successfully,” 47 percent of the participants reported that they were disappointed because their weight loss didn’t satisfy them.  They lost weight, and still felt awful about themselves.  They still didn’t feel sexy.

If big women (and even so-called normal-sized women) are to enjoy their intimate relationships, they need to address their body image.  Learning to accept yourself and enjoy the pleasure in your life is the key to changing the way you think about your body. 

When you learn ways to please a lover and take proactive steps to leave old body perceptions behind, you can change your love life.  A changed love life is a wonderful way to completely transform a bad body image.

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“Big Women Make Great Lovers”

A Big Beautiful Woman’s Guide To Great Sex

What Men Want

Lovemaking isn’t just for slender women. But large women who have body image issues often have problems in relationships because they think that men want a woman with a perfect body.

Although a man isn’t going to pass up the chance to look at such a woman, the perfect body is not at the top of a man’s want list. You don’t have to have that perfect body if you want to enjoy great lovemaking with your man.

Here’s what men really want from their women:

–Passion. Men love passionate women. A lusty interest in intimacy will wow a man every time. A blasé attitude isn’t sexy. Powerful positive emotions of love and desire are. These emotions are far more important that the packaging in which the emotions come. Men want to be desired and loved. Letting them know that you’re passionate about them will turn them on every time and pave the way for great lovemaking.

–Enthusiasm. Men want women to be enthusiastic. Enthusiasm is upbeat energy, and upbeat energy is electric. Bring enthusiasm into the bedroom and watch the sparks fly. Enthusiasm improve your lovemaking almost instantly

–Caring. Men need their women to be caring. A man’s ego really can’t handle much criticism. Criticism, in fact, is a great way to kill ardor.

A woman who is working hard to be perfect herself tends to exact the same standards from her lover. That kind of pressure is a definite turn-off. Nurture your partner with the kind of caring you’d like to receive yourself and you’ll be amazed at the kind of gentle response you’ll get in return during lovemaking.

–Kindness. Men want kindness and patience. When women go on rigid diets, they tend to get a little, ah, witchy. Men don’t like this.

Men want women to cut them some slack and treat them with the same respect that we often save for our best friends. A man who is respected and treated kindly will usually be a happy, virile man who is wonderful at lovemaking.

–Playfulness. Man want women to be playful and have a sense of erotic adventure. Who wants a woman who’s all serious and hung up on getting things just right? Intimacy shouldn’t be about looking good. It’s about having fun. A woman who is willing to experiment and get silly in bed will enjoy incredible lovemaking.

Women think that men don’t want intimacy. This isn’t true. Men want it as much as women do. They just don’t like to talk about it. If you want to be close to your man, stop focusing on creating the perfect body and create the perfect atmosphere for lovemaking. he great thing about giving your man what he wants is that it will get you what you want—closeness and romance and awesome lovemaking.

Kirsty – click here and check out even more advice

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